google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
