You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
She is in my trunk
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
