If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Randomize
