You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Randomize
