i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
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