Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Randomize
