i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
PS: I just woke up from my shower
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
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