I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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