bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Randomize
