Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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