nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize
