508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Randomize
