what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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