this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
I got her a Nickelback box set.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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