Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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