Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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