I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
I am mentally ready for anal.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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