Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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