batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Randomize
