I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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