I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
