Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
I just want nice things and good sex
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
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