Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize
