nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
Randomize
