I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
