i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
Drunk is not a location!
Randomize
