i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
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