Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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