Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
