Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
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