we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Randomize
