He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
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