just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Randomize
