do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
it's like heaven, but drunker
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
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