I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
I just want to make out with him forever
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
