What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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