I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Randomize
