My friends, they love my intelligence
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Randomize
