This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
