is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
Hey
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GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
