C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
