Pappa wants mamma naked
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
