I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Randomize
