So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
