So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Randomize
