South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Randomize
