naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
