My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
