he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
