he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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